Come The Rapture

…a place for the rest of us

Not the day I was expecting…

2 Comments »

posted precisely at May 22nd, 2011 10:14 pm

by Bosun Sky

Do you feel as lost and confused as me? Are you wondering why we’re not in the presence of the LORD on that triumphant DAY? I’ve been sitting in front of the television looking for reports of the taken and eating Dominos. Nothing makes any sense! I tried to call my Pastor but he’s not showing his face and Fox News says his spokesman says he’s not answering questions.

So I’ve been thinking, and it breaks down to being one of these things: either the angel Gabriel blowed that call and I wasn’t righteous enough to be saved, or he didn’t blow it yet and my Pastor was wrong.

That’s why I’ve been watching the news. I know my Pastor wasn’t taken, because they showed him getting into a car hiding his face from the cameras. But it seems like no one else was taken either. Can it really be that all these people are wicked? Of course I knowed that Shawna and Cynthia and nasty Mr McManus weren’t going to be saved, but there’s little kids and orphans and old ladies who’ve never done a mean thing in their lives. So I guess it must be that the Rapture hasn’t happened yet.

And I’ve been setting and thinking about that all night and all today, I didn’t even go to Church because anyway my Pastor couldn’t be there on account of all the cameras and news crews. That might be a sin but I think God would allow me a little time to figure this all out. Because if my Pastor didn’t know the word of God and he said he did then that’s a terrible evil thing to do. I don’t think you can think you know that God is telling you about the Rapture and he’s not unless that’s Satan speaking through you, and if LUCIFER can speak through my Pastor he can speak through any Pastor and how would I ever know?

It’s only through the word of LORD Jesus in HIS Book that I can be sure of anything in these end times, so I should turn off that Television – I know that’s the eye of Satan – and start reading and Praying. Because my Pastor told me that Book was the direct WORD of the sweet baby JESUS and that’s one thing I’m sure I can hold onto. Unless that was also the devil talking through him.

Posted in Uncategorized

Judgement Day is coming! Date TBD …

No Comments »

posted precisely at May 22nd, 2011 3:22 pm

by Rand Omposter

I woke up this morning and found myself in my bed.  So I am guessing I will not get to run with any “holier than thou” attitude today.  After all, anyone I meet today is apparently also amongst the damned.   That is if the Rapture did indeed occur yesterday.  I guess time will tell.  I’ll wait for the news reports of mass disappearances.  Or it could have just been one guy named Fred who got taken away.

See this is what I was thinking about yesterday.  If the Rapture was indeed coming and someone put out the word (never mind that goes against the way it works according to the Bible), how did those folks who expected to be taken up into Heaven spend their last week?  Did they spend every minute working to try to actively make the world a better place for everyone they would be leaving behind?  Did they spend their time trying to convince as many folks to repent and change their ways to ensure they got taken as well?  Did they just pray for people’s souls?  Did the spend their expected final days as they would any other days … going to work, etc.?

This is what I have an issue with when it comes to the folks who truly believe the Rapture is coming on XYZ date.  Unless the person stops going to work once they learn of the date of the upcoming Mass Exodus to help their fellow humans make their lives as good as possible, are they really working towards the goals of their beliefs?  “Love thy neighbor”, selfless acts, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” … sound familiar?  If a true believer believes they are going to be taken away, if they do anything less than spending their last month, week, few days, whatever helping those unfortunates who are apparently deemed “unworthy” and will be left behind to spend the last of their days in Hell on Earth, it seems they are themselves falling short of the mark.

Did Camping donated all his financial holdings to relief organizations before yesterday?  No?  Did he have doubts?  Or was he just not being selfless and in effect trying to take it with him?  Not very Christian, I think.  But hey, no one is perfect.

And that really gets down to it.  No one is perfect, so if the Rapture comes, is anyone going to get raised up?  Probably not … or maybe just a handful of folks who are closer to perfect than the rest of us, who knows.  Maybe we should all just be doing our best everyday to try to make the world a better place for everyone.  Not because someone says the world’s going to end and it’s the only way to get to a better place, but because it’s just the right thing to do.  Crazy concept, huh?

But we should not dismiss these Armageddon predictions out of hand.  This End of Days prediction stuff has the potential for fun.  Why not have it occur on April 14th, so those of us in the US don’t have to worry about paying our taxes or at least have a legitimate reason for an extension?  Forgot to buy your spouse an anniversary present?  Sorry honey, the world was supposed to have ended yesterday and since it is still here, I just didn’t have time to pick anything up today.

Personally, my prediction is that the world will come to an end on a Monday.  Not a particular Monday, mind you, it could be any Monday.  Enjoy the rest of your weekend. :)

 

Posted in Uncategorized

May 21st…is it for real, this time?

No Comments »

posted precisely at May 20th, 2011 4:48 pm

by Blythe Disregard

There’s been a lot of hoopla recently about the coming Rapture on May 21.  This could be it, kids.  I hope you’ve told everyone you care about how much you love them, because by Sunday morning, they may be gone.

There are some important questions we have to ask ourselves in moments like these.  How many people will be taken into heaven?  Five thousand?  Ten percent?  If it’s five thousand, that’s not going to make much of an impact.  The odds are that you won’t even notice (unless you happen to have a lot of devoutly Christian friends or family members).  Ten percent, though, that’s another matter.  You’ll probably notice someone missing.  Maybe even several someones.  Hopefully no one will be driving when they get Raptured.

How are we going to divvy up the abandoned real estate?  Obviously, everyone has a heretic or hedonist in the family who will stand to inherit personal property, but what about those empty churches?  Can we make them homeless shelters? Art galleries?

And what about government?  I mean, we all know Obama won’t be Raptured, but at least in theory we may lose a significant number of Senators and Representatives.  Mostly the annoying ones, but still…

What I wonder about the most, though, is do we get to watch?  Will all of a sudden people start floating off the ground toward the sky, or will they just blink out of earthly existence?  If they float, what happens if they’re in a house or car?  Is there a time limit on getting out to clear sky?  What if they get stuck?

I guess we’ll find out.  Whatever happens, remember you still have friends here amid the damned.

 

Posted in Uncategorized

Is there sin after the Rapture?

No Comments »

posted precisely at May 20th, 2011 2:10 pm

by Bosun Sky

This is a question that has troubled many of us who hope to be taken into his grace at the beginning of the last days. How can we not be worried for those of our friends and family who have fallen from the way and are not with us in heaven? Each day, as signs of the end times multiply, we talk to them, we witness, we show them how to put a foot back on the path of righteousness. Each day we’re disappointed, as so many of those we love have turned their face from the LORD.

It grieves me each night as I lay in bed thinking and hoping of the wonders to come, when all about me there are sinners who will be getting a taste of the hell that is to come for them if they don’t take that last chance to repent. Each night I hear my neighbor Cynthia unaware of the pain she’s going to suffer. Each day I visit Shawna at the 7-11 (except I don’t go in after that evil Mr McManus shouted at me) and think of how she’s going to wish she’d come to Bible study with me.

But the LORD Jesus is merciful, because he’s going to give them one last chance. This is the seven year period known as the Great Tribulation, and Shawna and Cynthia won’t be laughing at me then. They’ll believe! Even Mr McManus will believe! The antichrist will rise up and there will be plagues and meteors and famines. And finally LORD Jesus will come back again with an army to claim the earth as his possession and cast the unbelievers down to eternal damnation. They can do their fornicating and wear their prostitutes’ clothes down there but they’ll be speared by devils with red hot pokers while they’re doing it. LORD have mercy on their souls – except he won’t any more because there’ll be no more mercy after the last Trump when the kingdom of JESUS is come.

Behold, for the LORD Jesus said “Because the law brings wrath. And where there is no law there is no transgression. (Rom 4:15)” And in those times of tribulation there will be no law of GOD upon the earth, but only the false laws of the antichrist. This is the mercy of the LORD Jesus, that all those sinners who are left behind will know the truth of the power of his word, that it has taken his flock into HIS presence. Those who are left behind, then, will believe, unless they are so blinded by the power of Satan that they can’t see even our absence, and they’re unable to sin because GOD’s word is gone from the world for the seven years of the tribulation.

Therefore have hope for your loved ones, and trust in the LORD Jesus to bring them back to us after their time of pain on the earth. But most of all, when we stand at the foot of the LORD don’t feel PRIDE that we are in his presence and those who doubted us are not, because THAT would be to sin in the very face of Jesus and he would surely cast us out. After the rapture sin can exist only with the righteous, not with those afflicted folks who are left behind, though they will surely perish if they don’t repent.

That’s what I pray each evening as I listen to Cynthia crying out her sin. I pray that she and Shawna and Mr McManus won’t be so blinded by Satan that they don’t even notice that I’m gone, because if they notice then surely THEN they’ll finally repent and stop their fornicating and their wearing short skirts and they’ll wish they came and sat next to me in Church at least one time, so they would know how to call on the LORD to come save them from their wickedness so they could be up there with me in Heaven at the foot of the LORD Jesus and not cast down into neverending suffering after the time of tribulation. And that’s why I won’t be prideful when I’m taken, because I truly WANT Shawna and Cynthia to be there next to me. I think about that each night when I go to sleep.

Not that nasty Mr McManus though. He can go to Hell.

Posted in Uncategorized